SLROC Forum

Students, cause chaos in your town. Wait until you spot some young lads from the council digging up the road.
Call the police and tell them there are some students, dressed as roadworkers, digging up the road for a bet.
Then approach the roadworkers, and tell them that some students, dressed as policemen, are going to try to arrest them.

Get a deckchair and enjoy the action.

I like the concept but the numbers are a tad suspect - 1.2m in the military is way out for a start. The Army is currently at just under 100k, with about 30k TA.

That said there do seem to be an army of MOD civil servants, all happily creating more paperwork and digging deep into the elf and safety legislation to find novel ways to stop us training.
rant mode off....
G.

Thats a valid point all the health and safety regs. are disgracefull i mean how are they going to fight a war if they cant train what will happen when they get to that war shout at the enemy stop i need to do my risk to personal health checks i mean its the military this shouldn't happen oh ok checklist u should need
Body armour. Helmet. Balistic goggles. Weapon. Bayonet. Webbing. Ammo. Clothes. No health and safety regs. Its war live with it health board people

Rant over

Dom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7w41n3qZpU
Funny as hell

Two blondes are flying to america. There about two hours into the flight when the pilot come over the intercome and say's " im sorry everyone but we have lost one engine. it's ok though, as we have three more - it will just take an hour longer."

A little while later the pilot says "I'm afraid we've just lost another engine. But it's alright, as we still have two more. It'll just add another half an hour to our journey."

At this point, one of the blondes turns to the other and says, "For goodness sake if we loose the other two engines we will be up here all day."   

For those of you who who fancy a holiday with a differance......


......Air France are now doing flights to the Titanic

Revival Meeting

Leroy goes to the Revival and listens to the preacher.

After awhile the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to
come forward to the front at the altar.

Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy,
what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other
hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays.

After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands, stands back and
asks Leroy:
"Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it's not until next Wednesday."
geoff

At the height of the arms race, the Western World and Russians realised that, if they continued, they would someday end up destroying the world. So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dogfight.

The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its country the right to rule the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Russians found the biggest, meanest Dobermen and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian Wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed the lone dog all of the milk. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine, until, after the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on his cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast.

When the day of the big fight arrived, the British showed up with a strange animal: It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for us. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Russian camp. The bookies predicted the Russians would win in less than a minute.

The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the centre of the ring. The Russian dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant sausage-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Brits dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Russian beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.

The Russians approached the British trainers, shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Doberman and Rottweiler's. They developed a killing machine."

"Really?" the Brits replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons working solidly for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund...."

There's a first time for everything.

Except deja vu.

my grandads just been diagnosed with parkinsons disease ............ so thats why hes been going round for years interviewing people

In this mad world of political correctness is a mail man a person person?

I'm not having much luck with jobs lately.

I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory, wasn't suited to be a tailor, the muffler factory was just exhausting, couldn't cut it as barber, didn't have the patience to be a doctor, didn't fit in the shoe factory, pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn't see any future as a historian.

I got a job as a hangman's apprentice the other day.

The boss said he'd show me the ropes.

There's a first time for everything.

Except deja vu.

I think i've heard this one before...

told you before, i believe in protecting the enviroment. i recycle old jokes

I went to see a couple of clairvoyants last week but wasn't impressed with either.

One was depressed and the other couldn't take a joke.

I'm trying to find a happy medium.